No, no, no, no, no, no, yes, no, no, no, no, maybe, no, no, no, no, yes……….
It is surprising how many dating websites and apps work in exactly the same way. Sign up, tell them who you are and what you do — ok, here are the people you might like.
After that, it’s a numbers game. Sift through thousands of profiles and you might get lucky. Who determines your potential matches? An algorithm, as clever as it is, is still a machine that operates under certain rules.
“These two like tennis” — Match!!!
“These two are both in London” — Match!!!
“These two gave the same answer” — Match!!!
You end up with an experience that is a little like movie suggestions. You like Comedy, so here are a few titles you might like…No, no, no, maybe, no…
Really? Is that the best you can do? Should choosing a soulmate be similar to picking a movie? Where is the human aspect? We are talking about relationships, not products!
That said, sometimes you will come across someone great. He or she has an interesting job, you have a lot in common, you live close — it might just work! It all looks great on the screen, but after meeting them in person, you realise that the image you’ve created in your head is way better than reality. After a while, people just give up (Subscription?.. Seriously??). “I’ll never find someone special here”, “online dating is not for me” — rings a bell?
And that’s where the industry has got it all wrong — not in a small way, but in a fundamentally big way.
The problem is not in the lack of likeable candidates — there are a lot of great people out there. The problem is in the discovery method. Algorithms just don’t work. On top of that, turns out people who sign up for these services just might be (read: I date, therefore I am a lab rat). That’s all to keep that matching algo working (or did they just run out of ideas?).
Wait, pause there for a second. Experiments — what do you mean? They deliberately give me bad candidates? Huh??….So how do I know which match is an experiment and which one is a genuine match that I might like? Biiiig problem, disaster!
Well, the good news is that there is another way. Get rid of the matching algorithm. Who will provide matches for you? Simple. Your friends.
Your friends set you up. With whom? With someone they know, but limited to their Facebook friends. So it will never be a complete stranger, but a friend of a friend.
To make it more interesting, the chat is anonymous at first. All you know is the gender and age of the other person, as well as the name of the“Hitch” who has set you up. Will it be someone you know? Not necessarily, but you know for sure it is someone in the Hitch’s friends list.
If you like them, send a reveal request. Once accepted, both “reveal”themselves — name and profile picture. Who is it? Who is it? Who is it?
“But I am in a relationship already, I don’t use dating apps”. Hitch is not a dating app, it’s a matchmaking app.
Have you got a single friend? Have you got another single friend? Could it work? Only one way to find out!
Oh, and once you set them up, how do you know if they are chatting? Well, you can see how many messages they’ve exchanged (no, you can’t see the actual messages). “527 ? When are you guys going on a date already??”.
Dating shouldn’t be like shopping for food in a store in another country where everything is in a language you don’t understand. Life is random enough.
Friends know better